So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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