I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
