Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
