Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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