i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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