Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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