Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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