...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
