I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
