Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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