I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
