I didn't shave. On purpose
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
