Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
