he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
