so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
