It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
