I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it hurts more in the daytime
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
