I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
