I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
