Cold hands, warm shart.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
