GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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