so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
