Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Alive.
So much puke
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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