I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
