he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
