I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
