i don't like sucking hair
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
