Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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