I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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