Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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