He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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