you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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