I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
