I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
