i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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