my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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