Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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