im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
