You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
