wat bout pragnant strippers??
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
two words...techno handjob
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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