So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
