don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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