I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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