I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
