you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
