And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
