My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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