Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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