Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just had sex bonerless
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
