He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
