He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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